Wow... It's been over a year since I've posted a journal. haha how time flies.

Not much happening on this end. I kind of feel like I'm stuck in limbo, you know? I'm on some sort of middle ground, and I really don't like it. ANYWAYS..

I finally got a photoshop that I'm happy with, so there will be a lot more stuff submitted in the next couple months. Cause I definitely need practice with it..

FEATURE TIME :3

RULES
1. Be one of the first 15 people commenting on this journal entry, and I will add you to the list.
2. For each of those 15 people I will put their avatar and three deviations I like from their gallery on the list.
3. If I feature you, you'll have to do the same in your journal, then feature me and anyone else who featured you before listing 15 new ones.

1.
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2.
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If I'm a bad person, you don't like me
I guess i'll make my own way
It's a circle
A mean cycle
I can't excite you anymore
Where's your gavel? your jury?
What's my offense this time?
You're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me
Well sentence me to another life.

Don't wanna hear your sad songs
I don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's all my fault
Cause you know we're not the same
Oh we're not the same
The friends who stuck together
We wrote our names in blood
But I guess you can't accept that the change is good
It's good
It's good

You treat me just like another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess i'll go
I best be on my way out

Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend

This is the best thing that could've happened
Any longer and I wouldn't have made it
It's not a war no, it's not a rapture
I'm just a person but you can't take it
The same tricks that once fooled me
They won't get you anywhere
I'm not the same kid from your memory
Now I can fend for myself

Don't wanna hear your sad songs
I don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's all my fault
Cause you know we're not the same
Oh we're not the same
We used to stick together
We wrote our names in blood
But I guess you can't accept that the change is good
It's good
It's good

You treat me just like another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess i'll go
I best be on my way out

Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend

You treat me just like another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess i'll go
I best be on my way out

"Ignorance" by Paramore

OK. So there's been so much that's happened. I don't even know where to begin... so I'll just go with whatever train of thought that I can come up with. lol
So I took the ACT last weekend and to be honest, I thought it was A LOT easier than the AP tests. It was just time consuming and a nessecary evil that had to be dealt with >.< Though I will admit that the math portion kicked my butt good, oh well *sigh*
Then my parents have me all geared up about college and I keep having small panic attacks when I start thinking about it too much lol. I'm thinking maybe I'm nit ready to go to college just yet. my future looks so unclear right now EEK!
THEN there's my dad.. He keeps critizing me and it's getting really annoying. Just today he was complaining openly about how bad I am for listening to my music. A) it makes me feel better. B) I'm not gonna listen to church and classical music all the freaking time! I mean its good occasionally but only when I feel like it! It doesn't make me a bad person if I'm not singing kum by ya 24/7. ok. Now that that's out of my system
Now I'm in AZ in 115 degree weather (it's not that bad actually) visiting my aunt and uncle. it's been alright, idk. it's just kind of made me a little depressed, but I couldn't tell you why that is.
i've started writing one of my stories again >.< And now that I've got time I'm gonna draw some more. I've been practicing with my new tablet so maybe I'll post some stuff on dA..or maybe not. Depends on if I want to embarrass myself or not! lol
And last but certainly not least...I CANNOT WAIT FOR BREAKING DAWN AND THE TWILIGHT MOVIE!! i'm absolutely dying from anticipation! I've watched the trailer and scene from it over and over and over ( i think this is a VERY unhealthy obsession, but we'll just roll with it ). But I'm trying so hard to be patient >.<
Well I think that's about all that's new that I wanted to tell you so I hope all you lovely's are happy and well. I love you guys!

I said I'd moved on and I'll leave it alone,
But before I walk out there is something that I need you to know,
I got lost in a blink of an eye,
And I can never get back, no I've never got back,
You were not there when I wanted to say,
That you were everything that right and it wasn't you but me to change,
Now I got to go it alone,
But I'll never give up, no I'll never give up

What am I fighting for,
There must be something more,
For all these words I sing,
Do you feel anything

I said I'm ok but I know how to lie,
You were all that I had,
You were delicate and hard to find,
I got lost in the back of my mind,
And I can never get back, no I never got back
You were not there when I needed to say,
I hit the bottom so fast that my head was spinning 'round for days,
Now I gotta go it alone,
But I will never give up, no I'll never give up

What am I fighting for,
There must be something more,
For all these words I sing,
Do you feel anything

What am I fighting for,
What am I fighting for

Never give up on this [x4]

Said I'm ok but I know how to lie,
But I will never give up, no I'll never give up

What am I fighting for,
There must be something more,
For all these words I sing,
Do you feel anything

What am I fighting for (No I'm never gonna give up, give up)
What am I fighting for (No I'm never gonna give up, give up)

Said that I'd fight for the one that I've found,
I'm gonna stay here while I wait for you to come around,
I fight you're a part of me now,
And I will never give up, no I'll never give up

~"Fighting"-Yellowcard

You needed to know this about me lol
I got this quiz thingy from so yeah..LET'S DO THIS!

1) Name: Syrihn
2) Male/Female: Female
3) Were you named after anyone? No I pretty sure I'm not
4) Does your name mean anything? Cheerful! lol Ironic i think >.<
5) Nick Name(s): Millary (or if your my family Hilla-Beans D: )
6) What do you think you look like name wise: Umm... idk..but a quiz told me that my name should be Jasmin, so we'll go with that lol
7) Date Of Birth: December 31, 1990
8) Place of Birth and Current Location: Las Cruces, NM and ironically NM
9) Nationality: Cacausion/Hispanic
10) Astrology Sign: Capricorn
11) Chinese Astrology Sign: Horse! YAY HORSE!
12) Religion: Latter-Day Saint (Mormon)
13) What’s your favorite smell? Japanese Cherry Blossom, or babies after they've just had a bath
14) Political Position? I guess I'm on the fence most of the time, but for this election I'm 100% republican
15) What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Water
16) Hair + Eye colour: Dark brown with blonde highlights and dark, dark brown eyes (look black and I've been told I have no irises, but I do ppl! lol).
17) Do you look like anyone famous? I've been told I look like Sandra Bullock, but I see no resemblance
18) What do you look like? just look at a picture! lol
19) Any unusual talents? Ummm... I can make a four leaf clover with my tongue?
20) Righty, Lefty, or Ambidextrous? Lefty
21) Gay, Straight, Bi, or Other? Straight. period.
22) What do you do for a living? I'm a student.
23) What do you do for fun? Draw,write, read, hand out with friends etc, etc.
24) What are your favorite art materials to work with? Pencils, but I recently fell in love with oil paints
25) What kind of materials would you like to work with? Umm..probably oil pastels and pens. I always make mistakes with that stuff
26) Have you met your grandparents? Yep. On both sides.
27) Boyfriend: No.
28) Crush: Ugh..we're not going to go into that
29) What celebrity would you date if you could? Umm.. James Franco...maybe..
30) Current worries? ACT, college, senior year, my mom's mental health..to name a few
31) Favorite online Guy/Girl:Can't choose.
32) Favorite place to be? In my room
33) Least favorite place to be? Hospital. *shudders*
34) Do you burn or tan? Tan,but if I don't put sunscreen on at first I burn
35) Ever break a bone? I fractured my jawbone once
36) What is your favorite cereal? Lucky Chrams, Yummy!
37) Person you cry with: I prefer not to cry in front of ppl
Do You Have...
38) Any sisters: five younger
39) Any brothers: I wish *sigh*
40) Any pets: Two dogs
41) An Illness: Nope I'm relatively healthy
42) A Pager: 0.0 who has a pager nowadays?
43) A Personal phone line: Nope
44) A Cell phone: Yep
45) A visible birthmark: Yeah
46) A Pool or hot tub: No
47) A Car: SI! Mi Amor!
Describe Your...
48) Personality: Umm...kinda crazy...I get very animated and tend to annnoy ppl when I do...
49) Driving: Major hothead. I get it from my dad, but I don't go to his extremes
50) Your clothing style:Umm...different. I like things that stand out and is individual..as far as individual can get from clothing lines..
51) Room: Boring. I have a bunch of oriental stuff..but it's all mismatched
52) What’s missing: umm..? I'm not sure what this implies
53) School:A mandatory form of torture
54) Bed: Comfy! ( I agree with
55) Relationship with your parent(s): Friendly most of the time, but can get very hostile quickly
Do You
56) Believe in yourself: Never
57) Do you believe in love at first sight? Used to, not so sure anymore
58) Consider yourself a good listener: Yes, I love listening to other ppl
59) Have a future dream that you would like to share? I want to be an animator for Disney. It's a dream
60) Get Along with your parents: Sometimes
61) Save your e-mail conversations: Depends on what is said in them.
62) Pray: Yeah
63) Believe in reincarnation: No. Believe what you want, but you only get one life and one body. There's no do overs
64) Brush your teeth twice a day? Usually.
65) Like to talk on the phone: Not really. I like talking person better, phone conversations are just awkward to me.
66) Like to eat? Ha, yes!
67) Like to exercise? Eh...depends on what I'm doing.
68) Like to watch sports?Soccer and Basketball cause I understand those games lol
69) Sing in the car? HAHA all the time, I can see ppl stare at me while I'm driving >.< Geez like you ppl never sang at the top of your lungs before...lol
70) What is a dream that you have all the time? I can't really remember my dreams most of the time. But usually they involve ppl I love
71) Dream in color? Always.
72) Do you have nightmares? Yeah, but instead of when I was younger and I would wake up when it got scary, I stay asleep thru the whole thing. if a i do wake up now, you know it was really scary
73) Sleep with a stuffed animal: just a pillow I've had since I was 6.
What Is
74) Right next to you: Papers, tablet, sharpener, tissues
75) On your favorite coffee cup? I don't drink coffee
76) On your mouse pad: I don't have a mouse pad
77) Your favorite flavor of gum? Spearmint
78) Favorite deodorant? HAHA Secret, Jasmine Orient
79) Your dream honeymoon spot: Somewhere near the beach or in a wooded area.
80) Your dream husband/wife: No comment. I have too many hang ups and doubt that I will get married
81) Hiding in your closet? Clothes, books, memories, shoes, carft stuff
82) Under your bed: Art pieces, cd player, dvd player, computer modems (my room was supposed to be a study)
83) The name of one of your closest/best friends? I can't, I don't like to choose between them.
84) Your bad time of the day: Early morning. Don't ever try to wak me up. Just let me wake up on my own.
85) Your worst fear(s): Failure, rejection, and spiders >.<
86) What's the weather like: Hot and windy, but no humidity!
87) Your favorite time of year? Fall
88) Your favorite holiday? Holloween! Yay dress-up!
89) A material weakness? Umm...art sutuff, and jewelry
90) The weirdest food or drink that you like: Hotdogs with mustard mayonnaise and salsa on it, and Aqai berry juice. It's good for you.
91) At the top of your "to-do list"? Do well on the ACT
92) The hardest thing about growing up: Realizing you have to stand on your own.
93) A pet peeve? Being mean. Period.
94) Your scariest moment: Too many to count, but I'll go with when I had appendicits and was in the hospital for two weeks
95) Your attitude about love? Again, not going to go into it.
96) The funniest or most desperate thing you've done to get the attention of the opposite sex? Uggh..not on a need to know basis
97) The worst feeling in the world: Not being able to help at all
98) The best feeling in the world: Knowing you've made someone's life easier
99) Who sent this to you? Nobody.
100)Tag 6 more people: Whoever wants to do it, just do it

Love you guys. I hope your doing well and loving life as you should.


She fooled all of her friends into thinking she's so strong,
But she still sleeps with the light on,
And she acts like
It's all right on, as she smiles again
Her mother lies there sick with cancer,
And her friends don't understand her,
She's a question without answers,
Who feels like falling apart.
She knows, she's so much more than worthless,
She needs to find her purpose,
She wonders what she did to deserve this and..

She's calling out to you, this is a call; this is a call out,
'Cause everytime I fall down, I reach out to you,
And I'm losing all control now, and my hazard signs are all out,
I'm asking you, to show me what this life is all about.

And he tells everyone a story,
Because he thinks his life is boring,
And he fights
So you won't ignore him,
Cause that's his biggest fear,
And he cries,
But you'll rarely see him do it.
And he loves, but he's scared to use it.
So he hides behind the music, 'cause he likes it that way.
And he knows,
He's so much more than worthless,
He needs to find the surface,
Cause he's starting to get nervous.

He's calling out to you, this is a call; this is a call out,
'Cause everytime I fall down, I reach out to you,
And I'm losing all control now, and my hazard signs are all out,
I'm asking you, to show me what this life is all about.

Have you ever felt this way before?
'Cause I don't wanna hide here anymore.
Take me to place where nothing's wrong and thanks for coming, shut the door.
And they say someone out there sees us,
Well if you're real then save me Jesus,
'Cause I've been here for far too long.
I wasn't meant to feel alone.

And now I'm calling out to you, this is a call; this is a call out,
'Cause everytime I fall down, I reach out to you,
And I'm losing all control now, and my hazard signs are all out,
I'm asking you, to show me what this life is all about.

Show me what this life is all about
Show me what this life is all about

~"This Is A Call"-Thousand Foot Krutch

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You come to me with scars on your wrist
You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this
I just came to say goodbye
I didn't want you to see me cry, I'm fine
But I know it's a lie

This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything You need me to be

Your parents say everything is your fault
But they don't know you like I know you they don't know you at all

I'm so sick of when they say
It's just a phase, you'll be o.k. you're fine
But I know it's a lie

This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything You need me to be
The last night away from me

The night is so long when everything's wrong
If you give me your hand
I will help you hold on
Tonight
Tonight

This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything You need me to be

I won't let you say goodbye
And I'll be your reason why
The last night away from me
Away from me

"The Last Night"~Skillet